Friday, February 4, 2011

Our First Contact with the Birth Mom

Howdy Y'all!

Yesterday, we had two conference calls for our adoption.  One was with our adoption specialist, Angie, with American Adoptions and she wanted to fill us in on the match and what to say during our first conference call with our Birth Mom.  And, later in the day, we had our conference call with her (the birth mom).  Both of these calls were made from my car since I was at work - I just thought sitting in my car with the comfort of heated seats might be nice.  :)

My stomach was in knots all day long.  I was afraid she wouldn't like what we had to say or that I would say the wrong thing.  It is funny because Angie said it will be a lot like a blind date - it might start off a little awkward, but hopefully it would go smoothly.

The call started off well - we told Sarah, our Birth Mom, a little about us and how excited we were that she choose us.  She then told us why she picked us over the other profiles she had looked at - she said that there were little things we said in our profile that stuck with her.  One was the importance of a good education.  In the profile, I talked about how my mom always stressed the importance of a good education and how learning was very important and it shapes your life.  My mom loved the fact that something she did was one of the main reasons we got chosen by Sarah.

Then, I became the crazy lady crying in her car.  I don't cry - and I know I have said it before - but, I am known as a stonewall  to my friends because of the lack of tears I produce.  Sarah was telling us that she has had criticism from some people she knows because she is giving the baby up for adoption.  They have told her that she doesn't love her because she is giving it up.  Sarah naturally became emotional while telling us this.  This made me become emotional - because I have lived and breathed an adoption story - I know that my birth mom loved me so much to give the a life that I deserved - which was one she could not provide.  I wouldn't where I am today if she hadn't loved me enough to know she couldn't provide me the best life.  I was explaining this all to Sarah and of course, I couldn't keep the tears inside.  Not only do I know from experience, but I can't believe that someone would tell her these things.  That is just so hurtful.  In this day and age, where it is so easy to get an abortion, you have to love a child with all your heart to decide to carry it to full term and allow someone else to raise your baby.

When we all finally calmed down, Sarah went on to tell us that the baby would come on March 7.  This, of course, shaves another week off our already shortened timeframe - but, I am so excited.  She is having a scheduled C-section because she has had one pregnancy before and delivered her son by a C-section.  She also said that she wanted me in the room when she had the baby.  I cannot tell you how that makes me feel.  I love that she wants to include me in the birth of Kinley.  I am just overjoyed.

We have exchanged emails with her and have also been communicating through that for the last day or so.  She sent us ultrasound pictures - and I think they are a prized possession.  It is awesome how she has embraced us as the family that will be raising her baby - and how she had included us in all the details.

I know that giving up the baby will make her sad - so I would love for you all to pray for her comfort in the days to come.

We plan on getting to New York a few days before Kinley will be born - and I want to get something for Sarah as a token of the greatest appreciation.  If you all have suggestions, I would love to hear them.  I am all ears.


1 comment:

  1. I have been reading your journey Angela ! It has been so wonderful for you to share this with others. There is no telling how many hearts you are helping to heal! So excited for all of you! Keep us posted and can't wait for more pictures!
    Love and prayers to you all,
    Dana's Mom (Cathy)