Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Hardest Three Days of my Life

Howdy Y'all!

I want to say first and foremost that adoption is a great thing!  I don't know what I would have done without my parents adopting me.  I am not sure where I would be in life...I am sure that my life would have take a completely different road.  I know that my parents have given me so much opportunity in life and it is all because my birth mom did the hardest thing in the world and put her baby up for adoption.

As much as I thought I was prepared for this week - I was not emotionally prepared.  Watching Sarah go through the emotional rollercoaster has been completely heartbreaking and one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life.  She is afraid that Kinley will grow up hating her.  I tried to reassure her last night that I have never hated my birth mother - that I have nothing but love for her.  And, because I have seen how much she loves Kinley, I will not allow Kinley to grow up hating her for what she has done.  She is giving us the greatest sacrifice a mother can give.

Yesterday was the first day that Sarah broke down - and it scared me to death.  I have already become so attached to Kinley - she is just the most perfect baby!  After all the tears went away and I talked to her about my feelings toward my birthmother, she promised me that she will not change her mind and that we will be going home with Kinley.  Tonight, she had a similar breakdown and we were asked by her to give her the rest of the night alone with the baby.  How could we not grant her that request?  This will be the last time she sees that precious little girl.  Thanks to all the prayers from you all - all our wonderful friends and family - I feel more reassured tonight.  She again promised us that we are going home with the baby and that she won't change her mind - but, she has a feeling of her baby dying.  She is going through the grieving process.

If I can ask you one more time, I need you all to pray.  Don't pray for me and Tony - even though it is extremely hard for us, it is 100 fold for Sarah.  We get to go home with this precious baby girl - and Sarah will be left with nothing but her memory.  Pray for her and her family.  Pray that she can handle all the pain she is going to have to go through.

Tomorrow is the day Kinley and Sarah will leave the hospital and it will be the hardest day - and your prayers will be greatly appreciated to make this as smooth as possible for Sarah.

Thank you so much for all your support - we really appreciate the calls, texts and facebook posts we have received.  We know we are loved dearly by you all - I just want you all to share a little of it with Sarah.


P.S. One day this will return to being a Laughing Place and not a Palace of Tears as Tammy Lakin has called it.  :)


  1. OMG! I am crying for both of you moms! I am praying for her to have peace!

  2. Angie, I am a friend of Melissa's and she forwarded this to me. I want you to know that I have been exactly where you are right now. When we adopted our daughter, Emily, the same thing happened to us with her birthmom. That was the most difficult time of our lives as prayerfully waited in fear. What we learned from that experience is that God was faithful in His promise to give us the desire of our hearts. Though our birthmom wanted more time before she signed away her initial rights and then called us when we got home to tell us tearfully that she thought she made a mistake by giving Emily up for adoption, we held firm to our faith and continued to pray for her. In the end, we ended up blessed beyond measure with a lasting heartfelt bond with our birthmother. Although we don't have any verbal contact with her, we do send pictures and letters. In her letters to us, she always tells of how she thanks God for us often. She knows beyond a doubt that as difficult as the first days were for her, she made the right decision. We know that God was there in those early days answering our prayers by holding her heart secure while she held Emily so that she would not make the wrong decision. I will lift that same prayer up to you tonight and am certain that you will find God doing the same for you!

    Be comforted in knowing that God already had you in mind when He formed your precious baby girl in the womb. You were chosen to be her mother! In fact, God has already scripted her days as your beloved child. And He certainly has plans for her...and he has plans for your child's birthmother...plans for good and not for harm...plans to give her a hope and a future just as he is giving one to you.

    We will continue to pray for you in the upcoming days! Blessings, Leah

  3. Angela,

    I also have a friend that just adopted a sweet baby girl about 2 months ago. SO similar to what you have shared with us. The birth mom wanted the baby in the room with her that last night but promised she would go home with my friend and her husband. The birth mmom also called their home after wards and said that she had made a huge mistake. So many people were praying for everyone involved and sweet baby Lerin is still with my friend and things are going great. They will go before the judge soon to finalize everything. The main reason I wanted you to know about my friend is because I was at their home as they spoke with the birth mom (with a mediator on the call as well). Her mind had been made up at the start of the call, but my friend and her husband gently reminded her of all of the reasons she had initially wanted to give her baby up for adoption and wondered what had changed. The call lasted for about 30 mins. and ended with the birth mom saying she would think about continuing with the adoption. She called by that evening and said she would. She did grieve, but with each day it was a bit easier, especially knowing how many people already loved and cared for Lerin.
    They communicate through email and within a week the birth mom was ready to see pictures of Lerin and hear about what she was up to. :)

    You did the right thing letting her stay with Sarah last night. We will be praying for her and for you, Tony and sweet Kinley.