Thursday, March 17, 2011

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again...


I want to thank you all again for all the prayers, emails, letters, cards, flowers, meals, etc that we have received over the last week.  It has been one week since the worst day of my life - but, we have come through it stronger with the thoughts and prayers from each of you.

We received a call on Thursday from the adoption agency asking how we felt and to let them know when we would want to try again.  At that point on Thursday, Tony and I were thinking that we didn't want to go through this again any time soon - but, by Friday afternoon, we were ready to try again.  I know that it took us a little over a year from the start of our paperwork until the birth of Kinley - so, we potentially have a long time to wait again.  Why not jump right in and have faith it will all work out okay?

We have decided that we will pay the extra fee and go for a gender specific adoption.  Because we have so many beautiful girl things that we don't want to go to waste, we think it is the best decision to do this.  This could make our wait longer - but, we are going to have the faith that it will all work out.  The waiting this time around is going to be worse...before we really didn't even think about it - we just went on about our own business.  However, because we were so very close to having a baby of our own, the waiting is going to be tough this time.

My mom told me that when she was trying to adopt she carried a verse around with her all the time with the date of when she first started on the venture.  She has been carrying around a verse for me as well - with 2/20/10 written on the back of it.  This is the date that we told her we wanted to adopt.  She gave me the verse on Tuesday night - and now I am going to carry it around with me.  The verse reads, "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24.  I think this verse is fitting - so I will pray and believe and have faith and I am sure the waiting will be much more bearable.

Even though this has been tough, I have come out stronger and I know that I have the best friends and family that a girl could have.  We are much better - we are both back to work and getting on with life.  There is no point in dwelling in the past - especially when I can't change it.  My spunk is almost back - but, I have been told by a few people that I have been quiet at work.  I think it is expected after you go through something like this.  I am excited about next weekend though - luckily they had two spots left at our local weekend scrapbook event.  I originally wasn't going to go because of Kinley - but, I am pretty excited about having some girl time with my friends next weekend.  This weekend, Tony and I will probably just relax.

Thanks again for all you guys have done for us.  We love you so much!


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