This weekend Tony and I are traveling to Knoxville, TN to meet the birth mom of our future daughter. This is just deja vu for us - we have already done this once and we are hoping for better results. My friend Laura bought me the coolest necklace for Christmas with mine and Tony's birthstone and I decided it would be a cool necklace to give to Ariel. This is a necklace that represents Ariel's birth month and Harper's too.
I have been emailing with Ariel all week - and finding out we have so much in common. She says that I have put her at ease that she has picked the right family, but I still have FEAR that she will change her mind. What if it happens again and my heart can't handle it?
I bought a tutorial online on how to make bows - and I have been testing my skills this week. But, of course, I FEAR that we won't have a baby girl to wear all these bows.
My mom is so excited to have more grandchildren and has been going crazy buying for Harper, but again I FEAR that there won't be a little girl to wear all these beautiful things.
My friends and sister are planning a shower after the arrival of Harper, but I FEAR that all their plans will be for not.
I FEAR that our hearts will be broken again and I am not sure how we can handle it again. But, I know in my heart that we have the best friends that will help us limp along if the worst happens.
I am trying to think of Bible verses that will help me out in all my FEARS...
The Lord is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid? (Psalm 27:1)
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. (Deuteronomy 31:6)
For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. (Isaiah 41:13)
We would appreciate your prayers especially this weekend and over the course of the next month. Please pray that I let the FEAR go and enjoy this month before our daughter gets here. Please pray for Ariel and her dad that we will be having dinner with on Saturday night.