I have had a few people ask if I still talk with Harper's birthmom. Before Harper's birth, we emailed back and forth and I had set up a texting app on my phone that allowed me to give her a different number than my cell phone number to text. We pretty much talked every day. So, I thought I would give you an update on how we communicate now with a few of my favorite pictures from the last week or so sprinkled throughout.
My mother-in-law was so afraid for me to continue to talk to Ariel after Harper was born, but I thought it was common courtesy to continue to the lines of communication. She had just went through something so brave and courageous and I wanted to make sure that she was feeling okay with her decision. I wanted her to make sure she understood that she had picked the right family. So, just about everyday for the first week, I sent her a text message just to check up on her and she how she was feeling.
We are obligated by the agency to send pictures and letters to Ariel - one in the first 30 days, then two more per year for the first 5 years and then once a year until she is 18. However, I decided to go a bit further and actually do something so she could see pictures more often. I set up a Shutterfly account and I update pictures pretty frequently on the site. Both Ariel and her dad have access to the site and they are able to make comments on the photos. Again, I want them to rest assured that Harper is at the right place and that her family loves her so much.
Ariel and I text each other about once a week - sometimes she initiates the text and sometimes I do. On Friday, I received a letter that she had been awarded a scholarship from our adoption agency to help with her schooling so I immediately texted her to congratulate her. And, whoops - I broke the news to her - she hadn't even heard from the agency yet. At least it was good news. :)
When it was time for us to write our first letter, instead of picking out a couple of pictures, I actually sent Ariel about 15 pictures of our little cutie patootie. I wrote Ariel a letter telling her about Harper's "milestones" like how much she is eating, sleeping, etc. Since we met Ariel's dad - and really enjoyed meeting him - I wrote him a little note too. They were both so appreciative of the letters and photos. The relationship between us and them is just so easy and almost comes natural.
I have thought about this a few times - if Ariel would have changed her mind and kept Harper, I know that she would have been loved by Ariel and Ariel's dad. She may not have had all the money in the world, but I know she would have been rich with love. It is sad for me to say that I just don't feel the same way about our disrupted adoption in March. I feel sad for Kinley/Emma and I hope and pray that her life is good, but I am just not optimistic about it. I would love it if you guys and gals could continue to pray for her to have a good life. I know that Harper was meant to be with us, but it doesn't make me wonder about Kinley/Emma any less.